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Literature Text
So I figured that your not worth it and that i need to move on, but I don't know how you still control me and make me feel so bad.
I don't think you realise I cry myself to sleep at night and I still blame myself ...
I'm still feeling guilty about telling the truth and speaking out.
About what you have done, and the effect you have had.
Yet you are making me feel like a liar when I'm only doing what is right by me.
It's not what I would choose and not what I wanted but if you really cared about our friendship only one word was needed, the one word I know I overuse because I think I'm always in the wrong and that word is sorry.
So don't call me a fake friend when you were the one to make me hate myself, to make me blame myself for whenever you were angry or upset ...
You have made me hate myself again, because I could never understand why you did things to make me feel so small.
I don't think you realise how many times you have made the monsters come back, the monsters that I shut away for so long.
So don't call me a fake friend when all i wanted was your friendship.
I may be overreacting now and taking a stand, but that's what I needed to do, so you know what you did was wrong.
You made me feel like a piece of scum, a maggot, undeserving...
Pushing me around, putting me down, suffocating me, making me fight to stay alive,
but no more!
I'm no longer trapped, no longer stuck under your boot.
I will not be who you want me to be, nor told what to do.
I am my own person, I am me.
You have made me realise that I am better than this, and I should not be treated badly.
I am a human after all, and you aren't worth my time.
So this is me, knowing I'm better, turning my back, and saying goodbye.
I don't think you realise I cry myself to sleep at night and I still blame myself ...
I'm still feeling guilty about telling the truth and speaking out.
About what you have done, and the effect you have had.
Yet you are making me feel like a liar when I'm only doing what is right by me.
It's not what I would choose and not what I wanted but if you really cared about our friendship only one word was needed, the one word I know I overuse because I think I'm always in the wrong and that word is sorry.
So don't call me a fake friend when you were the one to make me hate myself, to make me blame myself for whenever you were angry or upset ...
You have made me hate myself again, because I could never understand why you did things to make me feel so small.
I don't think you realise how many times you have made the monsters come back, the monsters that I shut away for so long.
So don't call me a fake friend when all i wanted was your friendship.
I may be overreacting now and taking a stand, but that's what I needed to do, so you know what you did was wrong.
You made me feel like a piece of scum, a maggot, undeserving...
Pushing me around, putting me down, suffocating me, making me fight to stay alive,
but no more!
I'm no longer trapped, no longer stuck under your boot.
I will not be who you want me to be, nor told what to do.
I am my own person, I am me.
You have made me realise that I am better than this, and I should not be treated badly.
I am a human after all, and you aren't worth my time.
So this is me, knowing I'm better, turning my back, and saying goodbye.
So I was in a bad place last night. I guess that despite moving out of my house which i was being bullied in, i still have to face my bully everyday. Despite going through a formal complaint procedure to have the issue dealt with, mutual friends are still on their side. But I have to continue with my life, and get on with it even if I don't want to continue.
So this was written knowing that i have to move on, and although i was in an emotional state it was kind of helpful for me to write it all down.
So this was written knowing that i have to move on, and although i was in an emotional state it was kind of helpful for me to write it all down.
© 2014 - 2024 Mori-Elen
Comments9
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It's good to see that you are moving on, don't let any bullies get into your way! You're stronger than them! Remember that.